Thinking Emotions

Mid-Late May 2024:

Why am I even here

Didn't ask for this galactic placement

Time is approaching

To air out my dirty laundry

Don't want to

But I have to

Expelling quandaries from my soul

Hole tangling my heartstrings

Suffocate my own announcement

Cover this page in hate

Is the only word bouncing in my mind

Wordless, worthless

Puzzled derangement, useless management

Don't want to be here

Can't even exist here

I'm a fool for even trying

This world taught me early on

You'll always be alone, you'll never have a home

Want to end it, no will to live

This might be the only hope for me

Can't breathe, can't dig my way

Can't crawl out, dirt closing in on me

All the way down to hell

Caught in this prison

Locked in my mind

Floods of tears, no escape, no where to go

All alone, defenseless, this world left me

Lost friends, compounding trauma, broken home

Like a sponge, I absorb the world's problems

Now I'm having to wring them out

Tormented souls, troubled ghouls

Goblins disguised as fools

Defeated, I lay down

Giving away my power for free

Can't follow your rules, standardized afflictions

Respited, decaying

The burden of feeling when all these b*tches

Don't be sensing emotions, deeply hidden

I got Kardashians, televisions, boundless sodium

Church bells, tinderized personalities, shallow tragedies

There's others suffering as me, needing a team

Supportive energies and upward trajectories

Alleviating miseries, integrating elevated synergies

Can't stuff em down any longer

This world ain't for people like me

Ain't for grieving, healing and feeling

Ain't for soothing ancestors from past history

Ain't for breaking traumas, addiction, patterns from my heritage

Ain't for nurturing the being with beating injuries

That is why I became the Alien, to rise up the nations

I have always been the Alien

Nothing in this world welcomes me

No reliance on anything in this world,

no help, no kindness, no connection, no genuinity,

I'm the only of my kind

Family tolerates you, friends leave you,

the government don't f*cking care about you,

society can't f*cking stand you,

partners want to break you,

all these prissy, prudent, snobby, dim-witted brats

that think they're higher because they

have a tighter schedules, wear shinier suits,

fly to more places, speak more languages,

and soccer their children more than their neighbors.

This world is a joke of gollies and goddies.

I'll just keep laughing

The Earth speaking multitudes through her stillness

The animals and creatures, allowing me to be

As they have no ego, no burden asking "who am I"?